9 Must-Have Things In A Goodbye Letter To Boyfriend
Couples get together and break up all the time. It’s as sure a thing as the sun will rise from the east tomorrow. It’s just the way life goes.
So there is really no point fretting over it.
Treat the relationship as a learning experience that you can put to good use when the one who truly matters appear in your life.
Whether you are breaking up due to being cheated on or that you no longer love him anymore, you have probably decided to use the good old-fashioned goodbye letter to boyfriend to end things.
It’s a wise choice 😀
But remember… no matter how mad you are or how sad you feel about your decision to end the relationship, there are some things you want to achieve from the last goodbye.
- You are serious
- He does not feel like a tool
- He knows there is no chance of making up
- He needs to have a reason for the breakup so as to have a little closure
- He won’t feel that he is the main cause of the breakup
- He won’t bother you again after reading it
- The 2 of you don’t separate as enemies
You want to keep these things in mind because the ideal scenario is that it’s over as soon as you post that letter. Very often, women experience guilt and regret when the boyfriend makes a first move to patch things up… and relent to that feeling.
Since you have already decided to move on, you definitely want to avoid putting yourself into a vulnerable position of guilt and regret.
Also… please restrain yourself from getting into a disciplinary mode by scolding him and effing him all over the place. You don’t want him to get into a vengeful mode.
Add these 9 must-haves your goodbye letter
1) Address him by his cute pet name
Firstly, you want to do this as it plays a role for him to identify that the letter genuinely came from you. Who else would know his pet name?
Secondly, and more importantly, you want to start off with an intimate tone. By calling him by his pet name, you can draw on the some of the sweetest moments the 2 of you shared together. This can play a crucial role in how he interprets the rest of the contents in the letter.
2) Mention at least 1 or 2 most memorable moments during the relationship
This is so that he doesn’t feel like a loser who have wasted your time. By acknowledging some of the happy times in memory, he will feel that he added some value into you life.
By thinking that he actually contributed something to the relationship, whether it’s true or not, you let him retain some of the self-respect he has, no matter how little there is left.
If you watch some of the movies where boyfriends start putting choke holds on girlfriends, it is usually triggered by spiteful nagging girlfriends. Actions like these aggravate the already bruised masculinity that resides in his ego.
You definitely don’t want to be on the wrong end of a beating.
3) Remind him that the both of you have tried and failed in trying to reinvigorate the relationship
If you don’t put this on the table, he might respond by making a big effort to spruce things up. He will then beg for another chance which you have no interest in. Then use emotional blackmail to tie you down for a longer period.
Can you believe?
You definitely have no time for this.
Anymore wasted time on him means the longer your biological clock ticks. And as you know, women DO have a disadvantage when it comes to age in dating and marriage.
4) Provide a reason why it’s time to end things
You can leave him to forever wonder what the heck happened… and it can come back to bite you one day.
Or you can close the loop by offering a reason, whether it’s true or not, so that he does not divert his energy into the real cause of the breakup.
Anyway, at this point, closure is probably the best gift you can give him.
5) Mention that you will be focusing on other priorities
Surely you don’t want him to think that you will be partying and meeting more single men as soon you free yourself from the shackles of the boring relationship with him.
That can trigger a backlash… and some awful stuff on social media.
Common priorities used by women include
- Needing to find yourself (haha good one!)
- You need to focus on your career
- You intend to travel the world
- You want to spend more time at the charity
6) Give a reason why you will be uncontactable
Time will always heal the pain. Whether the pain is on your side or his is another matter.
But if you leave yourself receptive to his comeback play, you are probably not that sure about breaking up in the first place.
This is why one of the most important things to do at breakup is to stay away from all forms of contact. This includes blocking his number on your phone, temporarily moving to another place, disappear from social media, etc.
The reasons or excuses you can give for being uncontactable can be things like:
- You are visiting your long lost cousin in a remote area of China
- You will be traveling with some friends to getaway from it all
- You parents are not well and needs you to care for them for a little while
Saying that you will be spending time with the hot guy you met from the club a week ago is not going to help anybody.
Another effect being uncontactable achieves is that he will think that the breakup really affects you. So you need to spend some time alone.
Little does he know that you will actually be living it up in Hawaii…
7) Encourage him to find someone new
Don’t forget to tell him that he will eventually find someone much better than you.
However, DO NOT say that you wished that you are not worthy of him. By saying this, it might just gives him the onus to convince you that you ARE “good enough”. The 2 of you will just be going around in circles.
8) State that you truly wished the relationship had worked out
Now of course everybody enters a relationship thinking that it will work out. But on the back of everyone’s minds, there is the realist that knows that that is a long shot.
This is time to remind him that you initially REALLY wished that you would be together forever. But reality eventually set in.
You wouldn’t have suggested the breakup unless you are convinced that your wish for happily-ever-after is not going to happen.
9) Wish him the best
Don’t be such a jerk. You were attracted to him in the past and you saw something in him.
You can wish him well for the future. It’s the polite thing to do.