9 Reasons Your Friends Secretly Wish You’d Fail
You confide in them whenever you are down, you think about buying them a simple gift when you feel an item in a store would be perfect for them, even one of the things you looked forward to when you got out of bed in the morning today was to see your friends later in the day.
This is why it can really be tough to accept that the people closest to you often don’t wish you the best.
And this negative energy from friends don’t just reside in areas of business and career. It can be for anything else from weight loss, to dating, and more trivial stuff.
It’s not that they want you to fail. It’s more like they don’t want you to succeed.
Well… maybe they don’t mind you doing fairly well in your career or business. The scenario they want to avoid the most is that you become a BIG success.
Instinctively, everyone probably thinks that they have the full support of friends and family on their businesses.
But that is far from the truth. And I suspect that you know that too.
Why do they secretly wish that your business never becomes a big hit?
Reason #9 is as crazy as it gets…
1) Your friends don’t want you to steal all the limelight [tweet this].
It can really be unfamiliar territory when someone who is used to being the center of the social circle to suddenly lose his status.
- Suddenly, everyone starts giving him less attention when you are around.
- The sandwich you had for lunch becomes more interesting to the clique than the hot chick he met at the bar last night.
- He even gets paranoid that one day his mother will say the dreaded words “Why can’t you be become more like Mike?”.
That can happen when you have been promoted to something like a CEO drawing an annual bonus of a quarter million dollars. It becomes a bigger blow to someone’s ego when he realizes that your company has hit the $1,000,000 sales revenue milestone in half a year…
Which leads us to number 2…
2) They will feel like a failure when you become a success and outdo them [tweet this].
Imagine your childhood friend who you grew up with since the age of 7…
Now 20 years down the road at 27, you are on the brink of getting a seat on the discussion panel on prime time business TV… And your friend is still slugging it out at front end sales trying to make the next payment on the car.
The gullible side of you don’t even think about it. In fact, you’d imagine that your best friends will love nothing better than you having your shot at the big time.
But more often than not, a darker side of them is hoping that you will screw everything up for yourself by peeing in your pants on a live TV broadcast.
It might not be a conscious decision to wish failure upon you. But many people cannot help thinking about it.
Because if you truly make a mark in your career, your friends who have been barely getting considered for a simple promotion might starting feeling how stagnant their careers have been.
And all they were hoping for was a better salary increment come the end of the year.
You have completely and disgustingly exceeded their achievements. Which is why…
3) They can feel better off than you when they are financially superior [tweet this].
Many people tend to dismiss how income affects status in a social setting.
But secretly, they are hoping that they remain one of the top earners among the group of friends.
- They don’t want you to be richer than them.
- They don’t want you to live in a bigger house.
- They don’t want you to drive a flashier car.
This again, is meant to feed their egos and garner more authority when making social group decisions.
When you are making more money to the point where banks start classifying you as a wealthy individual, jealousy can creep up on people who have yet to reach your level, if ever.
Whether you admit it or not, how much money a person make DOES play a role in the dynamics of how friends in a social group interact with each other.
Still living in denial?
I find it hard to believe that someone would wish all their friends to be making double or triple the income they are making for themselves.
4) They don’t want you to be having fun when they are stuck with a mundane lifestyle [tweet this].
It can really eat at someone when they are spending nights at home watching reruns of boring dramas while their friends are traveling the world stepping on the very ground of all the famous landmarks printed on postcards.
And to really rub it in, the globetrotters make it a point to share their travel pictorials (are you one of them?) on social media.
A part of your friends don’t want to see you smiling from ear to ear from a different global landmark each week. It raises the evil of envy.
They’d rather you suffer a little failure so that you can stop showing off your wealfies on Facebook on the pretense of “keeping in touch”.
5) They are ashamed of their own achievements [tweet this].
This is probably the most unhealthy of the lot.
Every successful person would want to have a supportive family and social circle around him.
It’s tough taking on the unforgiving world of corporate machinery on your own.
Can you believe?
Successful people actually understands that it’s not easy to find others who share their way of approaching their careers.
There are always the losers and the doers.
And because entrepreneurs are often decisively stubborn, it is not easy to make friends in the capitalistic world. This makes them value friendship even more.
So while most successful people genuinely wish that their friends become successful as well (of course not as successful as them), it becomes really painful when the people closest to them could feel a certain degree of inferiority due to their own success and accomplishments.
The sad part is that this is as real as it gets.
How would you feel if your former classmate with the same qualifications as you, at the same age as you, has a career to rival Jack Welch while you are still stuck at second level management?
6) They feel better for themselves when they see you slog away your life while they make more money than you by working 9 to 5 [tweet this].
This often happens when people get involved in business startups with unstable income.
Maybe you have declared your intention to start a business or drooling over the acquisition of one.
You then start painting the picture to your friends of how you will disrupt the market with cutting edge technology or a new concept. The rewards will undoubtedly be massive should you succeed… and you actually might be able to pull it off.
The only leg up your friends who have not excelled in their career have on you now is how “balanced” their lives are.
It makes them fell better about themselves when they are drawing a fixed income regularly while you are struggling 16 hours a day while not clocking a profit.
They can then comfort themselves by thinking that they made the right choice in not going into business after observing how hectic and unpredictable your life have become without any real monetary rewards.
These are the personalities who are waiting for the opportunity to say the words “I told you so”.
The underlying reason for this mentality is that they have long been thinking about starting their own businesses… but have never had the guts to take up the challenge. Unlike you.
Your success will actually validate them as failures who don’t even have the courage to be their own boss.
They’d rather you become the prime example of why they have made the right decision in not pursuing their dreams and a shot at immortality.
7) They want to make fun of you with other friends [tweet this].
Sometimes, it is really impossible to understand the roots of motivation.
It’s less about you not knowing why a family member or a close friend would wish failure upon you. It’s more about how that motivation even had an ugly head to rear in the first place.
You failure will become a big topic in social settings especially when you are not around.
This is the best opportunity for others to joke about:
- How BIG your vision was.
- How you actually thought you could change the world.
- And how HARD you finally fell
- “I told you so”
Then all of them will feel having a superiority over you… even when it’s all just imaginations in their heads.
8) They want to be the insider behind your failure [tweet this].
The public likes stories of failures much more than success. Take a look a the front page news of your local newspapers and you will find that point verified.
Should you fail in whatever endeavors you have taken up, your best friends will become the insiders who can tell others what really happened. People can actually like this attention for social reasons.
In fact, maybe once your bubble pops, you will spend some time confiding in them…
The have become people “in the know”. And become a popular source of information that others are interested to know more about.
You failure will only give them more power.
9) They don’t want you to have a more beautiful wife/hunky husband than them [tweet this].
This is more human nature than anything.
Our DNA has an urge to replicate. And we want to reproduce with a partner with the best genes as possible.
But more than that, in a way, we don’t want others to have better children than we do.
There is nothing to be embarrassed about if you think this way.
Every parent, even if they are not the proudest of people, would want their children to be the best among the best.
The more success you have, the higher your chances of meeting the perfect woman or that Mr Right.
Replication is one of the big 3 forces that influence everything we do. The other two being survival and social acceptance.
How would you feel if your best friend who is supposedly your equal has a girlfriend 10 times hotter than yours?
If you are a politician, you might insist that it is inner beauty that matters… But that only means your successful friend could possibly marry a woman 10 times more beautiful and with 10 times more inner beauty than your partner.
Does that make you feel thrilled? I guess not.
It becomes an even bigger bummer if your best friend (who is secretly wishing for your failure) has never got into a real relationship.
I don’t think that friends and family go about their days constantly wishing that our names appear on the bankruptcy notice of newspapers.
But when the topic of our success in business and career comes up, a part of them sometimes hope that adversity hits us as hard as possible. And it happens at an unconscious level which they have little control over.
Maybe the unconditional love of a mother is the exception.
The best way to rub it in the faces of those who don’t believe in you is… to achieve success whatever the case.
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